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Taking over for Wiz   
09:38pm 22/11/2008
  Wiz is busy, so here's this weeks NFL games for Shiz and Moogle and anyone else remotely interested.

Cincinnati @ Pittsburgh
Houston @ Cleveland
San Francisco @ Dallas
Tampa Bay @ Detroit Lions
NY Jets @ Tennessee
Buffalo @ Kansas City
Chicago @ St. Louis
Patriots @ Miami
Minnesota @ Jacksonville
Philadelphia @ Baltimore
Raiders @ Denver
Carolina @ Atlanta
Giants @ Cardinals
Washington @ Seattle
Indianapolis @ Bolts
Packers @ Saints
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12:35am 26/09/2008
  Because Wiz's friends are gay. Nobody feel compelled to answer this except Wiz, because I'm not twisting any arms. But none of his friends are posting it, so if I don't, nobody'll ever know what Wiz's answers are.

01) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
02) What was your dream growing up?
03) What talent do you wish you had?
04) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
05) Favorite vegetable?
06) What was the last book you read?
07) What zodiac sign are you?
08) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.
09) Worst Habit?
10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
11) What is your favorite sport?
12) Do you have a Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude?
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
16) Do you have any pets?
17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?
18) What was your first impression of me?
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
22) What color eyes do you have?
23) Ever been arrested?
24) Bottle or can soda?
25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
27) What's your favorite place to hang out at?
28) Do you believe in ghosts?
29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
30) Do you swear a lot?
31) Biggest pet peeve?
32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
34) Favourite and least favourite food?
35) Do you believe in God?
36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?
12:55am 02/09/2008
  This is the absolute best (or worst) I think they're gonna do, so don't complain at me if it's not possible for all of the records to be right. I also haven't thoroughly studied all the schedules, so some of it's just guesswork, homerism, and what I thought of last year's team. Fun fun!

AFC East

Miami Dolphins 0-16 - Nobody likes Florida
New York Jets 12-4 - Favre will get a ring, and instantly retire. New York responds with apathy
Buffalo Bills 5-11 - Buffalo will still be horrible: New York responds with apathy
New England Patriots 13-3 - They're gonna stumble a little bit, and I feel like the weight of 18-1 is gonna make Brady a little less careful. I'd say 18-1, but that won't happen with Brett in the division.

AFC North

Pittsburgh Steelers 8-8 - I'm gonna go on a limb and guess for disappointment. Just a strange gut feeling, but I'm noted for pessimism.
Cincinnati Bengals 9-7 - Maybe even a playoff spot for once. Expect some surprises. Johnson gets injured in the first game, or has a hell of a season. The spirits aren't clear which.
Baltimore Ravens 6-10 - Nobody will be ravin' for you.
Cleveland Browns 3-13 - Frowntown for Browntown.

AFC South

Jacksonville Jaguars 9-7 - I don't believe the hype.
Tennessee Titans 6-10 - They don't have no players!
Houston Texans 9-7 - SHOCKAAAAA
Indianapolis Colts 14-2 - Time for Peyton to start manning up to Eli's example

AFC West

San Diego Chargers 13-3 - Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiightningg striiiiiiiiiiiiiking agaaaaaaaaaaain
Denver Broncos 2-14 - Broncos go bonko. Might even move to Utah in a few years.
Kansas City Chiefs 10-6 - May Dante Hall's ghost lift you boys to victory
Oakland Raiders will lose more games than they actually played in.

NFC East

Washington Redskins 8-8 - A wash.
Dallas Cowboys 10-6 - ROOOOOOOMOOOOOOO COP
New York Giants 9-7 - Eli gets hurt, and they will regret ditching the Hefty Lefty.
Philadelphia Eagles 5-11 - All the Chunky's soup in the world won't help them now

NFC North

Detroit Lions 12-4 - Holy shit, when did they get good?
Chicago Bears 0-16 - The Chicago No-go.
Green Bay Packers 8-8 - Without Brett, they're still mediocre, but Rodgers will show promise... and get traded to Minnesota
Minnesota Vikings 15-1 - Minnesota Purple Nurples the league. Jawsome!

NFC South

Tampa Bay Buccaneers 8-8 - Wait for it
Atlanta Falcons 8-8 - Keep waiting
Carolina Panthers 8-8 - Almost there

NFC West

Seattle Seahawks 11-5 - Good season, but just short of greatness. Maybe a late trade'll give them a boost they need.
Arizona Cardinals 3-13 - Warner is once again the noose around a decent team's neck. Might not be this bad, but it will be ugly.
St. Louis Rams 10-6 Hey! We don't have Kurt Warner! We're gonna have a great year!
San Francisco 49ers 16-0 - The ghosts of Tecmo Super Bowl will haunt the Golden Gate City. Haunt them with an 18-1 year!
Hey SDHawk...   
02:08am 21/07/2008
  I made a game.

01:44am 09/03/2008
10:06pm 03/02/2008

Cut, to avoid spoiler for anyone who missed THE BEST SUPERBOWL EVERCollapse )
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Halftime Joke! Halftime Joke!   
07:59pm 03/02/2008
  Ten times better than any field goal and touchdown!

Q:Why would someone's parents name them Plaxico?

A:They were under extreme BURRESS!
01:36am 01/02/2008
  Brawl DOjo updates for 2 more months! Incredibly glad I didn't just run off in a crazed hunger, and watch EVERY LEAKED VIDEO WITH SPOILERS ON THE INTERNET, and instead will get to learn of things with Sakurai's nearly poetic wit. Not that anyone we know went out and did, giving credit and attention to those villainous scoundrels who wanted to spoil the fun for us poor people who have to wait till March. And certainly not that #JSH, the people who spoke out about how surely it would happen, and then lost all composure when it did. Certainly not them!  
02:07am 21/01/2008
  I'm starting to have strange dreams again. This afternoon, I dreamt I was standing in a Wendy's. And there were these two kids (15-16, angsty as hell. You know, the people you find in malls) behind me. They were pushing trays with their food down a rail, like at the cafeteria.

I noticed a box of chicken nuggets, and a sandwich of some kind up by the napkins, so I put it down on the kid's tray. He threw them back up on the napkins, and said "Hey MAN, these aren't mine. How DARE you think it's that easy, life's NOT that EASY, MAN"! His friend sort of nodded. I was apparently annoyed, because I grabbed the kid by the collar, and yelled at him "Life's not easy, huh!?"

I put him into a chokehold under my arm and turned him towards the girl at the counter, and started yelling some more "Well what if I told you I was the MANAGER of this Wendy's, and it was my JOB to make sure that everyone's life was easy, huh?" He started blubbering something, but I didn't really listen. I just threw him over the counter at an empty register, and yelled "Enjoy your new job!"

Then, his friend piped up, like "Hey man, you can't make him work if he doesn't want to. That's like the draft or something, isn't it?" and he looked around to see if anyone agreed. No one did. Apparently, customers at my Wendy's don't question my authority.

Anyway, I wasn't going to let the kid get away with sassing me, so I did that thing where you grab a guy by the back of shirt collar, and by like, the belt at the back of his pants, turned around, and flung him through the window, into the open window of a car leaving the drive thru. I stuck my head through the shattered window, and yelled to the confused passengers in the car "Enjoy your new son!", and they seemed pretty grateful.

After that, I ate the spare chicken nuggets and sandwich, and woke up. I really need to quit going to bed at 6 in the morning.
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New England Pantriots, 16-0   
12:53am 30/12/2007
  This is why we can't have nice things. :(  
11:54pm 25/12/2007
  God damn, does Giz love him some Christamas.  
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06:33pm 24/12/2007
  Rambo 4, oh why aren't you out yet? You know I'm weak in the knees for you  
03:12am 30/11/2007
  Giz hates sequels, spinoffs, and the baby JesusCollapse )

I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm going to make a game. It's not going to be a sequel, and it's not going to have a sequel, and at this point I really don't know much more than that.
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09:35pm 25/11/2007

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:( :( :(   
01:48am 17/11/2007
  Apparently if you dig a hole wider and deeper than 8 feet, you're a construction worker, and you need a permit. This is my one phone call. All I wanted to do was make a tunnel to China. :(

PS: I still have my shovel. Do you think they'd be mad if I started a hole in my cell?
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09:30am 16/11/2007
  I'm digging a hole to China and YOU CAN'T STOP ME!!!  
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07:11am 12/11/2007
  If it ever happens to pop up on AMC again, Submarine Seahawk is one of the best war movies I've ever seen. Even though it's production values were definitely low, the battle scenes are much more believable than "Midway", or "Tora, Tora, Tora!". They used the stock footage properly, for formation shots of planes, and then used models for the actual battles. Not once did I see that footage (That was used at least 5 times in Midway and Tora Tora Tora, not to mention countless History Channel documentaries, and Baa,Baa, Black Sheep) of a Japanese plane getting shot, and the fuel tank exploding, and the left wing falling off, and then it starts rolling and diving down.

Plus, the writing is GREAT! Tough, strong navy men who want to fight the enemy. The kind of guys who only say "Please" and "Thank you" to their mamas! At one point, when several of his crewmembers are in dire straights, the captain goes down to see how things are. He doesn't give 'em any cheesy pep talk, he cuts right to business. "I'm leaving. Good luck!"

And on a completely different subject, what the hell's up with gay pride parades? Is there anything that says "I'm a normal person just like you, and you should let me work at your place of business and live in your neighborhood" less than donning peacock and flamingo suits, tight leather thongs and tickling each others crotches on parade?

Everyone who's in love is proud, but you don't see straight people celebrating it. And really, why don't we? That'd be a hell of a thing to do on Valentine's Day, if everyone got together with someone they loved and walked a mile or two on parade. All the single people could sit and cheer and be jealous, old people could ride behind on their Rascal scooters holding hands, and maybe at night everyone could do it again in their underwear. Beats the hell out of chocolate and flowers in my book.

Has anyone else noticed that this entry's gone to hell? I'm leaving. Good luck.
01:57am 10/11/2007
  PS: #JSH had a fanfiction contest, and it was spicy, saucy, hot.  
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01:49am 10/11/2007
  That's it! I've had enough of people on my friends list complaining about relationships, and problems with understanding women. You can't understand a woman, that's her purpose.

Didn't "I Love Lucy" teach you guys anything? Did Ricky have any idea what the hell Lucy was doing? No, of course not! He just loved her, and tricked her and bailed her out of jail, and eventually they had Desi Arnaz Jr, and what a great episode of the Brady Bunch he was in! If you guys would just sit back and let women be crazy, your kid'd probably be going on a date with Marcia by now! (If that doesn't make you hate your dad for marrying a sane woman, I don't know what will!)

As for me and my women problems, I've got a solution. Cary Grant and I are gonna be standing on top of the Empire State Building with our shirts off this New Year, and any woman who wants to try and pick up either of us can come by and show us what she's got. It'll be like a talent show, bring out your saxophones and hula hoops and whatnot, you never know what might tickle me or Cary's fancy. And any guys are welcome to come by and console the millions of losing women. Just because we don't like her doesn't mean you won't!
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03:59am 01/11/2007
  Ah, nothing beats Halloween! Didn't get a chance to finish my entry, but it's impossible to be unhappy on this, the greatest of all holidays!

After all the candy, though, I think I'll get hungry just in time for Thanksgiving.
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